Espresso Yourself - 1
Cut the Criticism, Give the Gift
October 1, 2006
Pastor Paul W Newell

Most of you know that we moved here from Lakeport, California. People often ask, where is Lakeport?  Telling them exactly where Lakeport was didn’t really help a whole lot, so I usually described it this way...it took us a hour and a half to get to the nearest Starbucks. To which they would most always reply...that far?

My kids even broke down and bought me an espresso machine so I could have Starbucks in Lakeport. I felt like part of the coffee elite!  I even kept my Starbucks paper cups to carry around town!

Down here however, there are Starbucks everywhere. You can get a cup of espresso on just about every corner – everywhere! Espresso is big business!

When I take my study breaks on Tuesday I spend most of my time migrating between Starbucks and The Coffee Bean because I love espresso.

I was actually drinking espresso while I prepared this talk on espresso! Espresso is bold. It’s hard to mistake the taste of good espresso. Good coffee is worth the effort.

Did you know that for a long time I mispronounced the word? It’s ES-presso. I always pronounced it EX-presso.
I had always assumed that when I drank ex-presso I was expressing my taste in coffee. I was ex-presso-ing myself.

This morning I want to begin a short series that I hope will be bold and insightful. I’ve been praying that God will give me the ability to espresso myself about our expressing ourselves. And just like I misunderstood the word espresso, most of us are misunderstanding how we express ourselves.

One of the biggest barriers to great relationships is our inability to express ourselves in God honoring ways – both positively and negatively.

This morning I want to talk about CUTTING THE CRITICISM AND GIVING THE GIFT.

Criticism is the dark side of espresso-ing yourself.

When we criticize, we ruin quality relationships. We decaffeinate our ability to express ourselves when we judge and criticize others.
Friendships lose their punch when we start being judgmental. Marriages go flat when criticism get’s poured into the mix. You know how it feels when someone is critical of you; when they start judging your actions or heart.

But what about you, do you find yourself being critical of others?

Jesus had a lot to say about the decaffeinating effects of criticism; our Scripture this morning nails it...

“Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. Stop criticizing others, or it will come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven.  If you give, you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use in giving – large or small – it will be used to measure what is given back to you....”What good is it for one blind person to lead another? The first one will fall into a ditch and pull the other down also... “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, ‘Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye’, when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from our own eye: then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” Luke 6:37 - 42 (NewLivingTranslation)

Judging. Criticism. Those are decaffeinating words. But before we get into the real espresso of this passage, we need to understand what Jesus is not saying!

Jesus is not saying, “don’t make any judgments.” I hate it when people throw that line at me.

Let’s say you or I are out to lunch with a friend who tells us that they have decided to do something immoral, maybe they’ve decided to leave their family and spouse. Maybe they’re thinking about having an affair. Maybe they are planning on cheating someone. You pick the issue – it doesn’t matter.

But let’s say they share with you that they are planning on doing this thing and you respond – man, you can’t do that? That’s wrong! That will destroy your family, that will really hurt those people.

And what is a typical response? Here it comes... Why are you judging me? I thought you were a Christian! The Bible says, “Judge not lest ye be judged!” You can’t tell me that’s wrong!

Man, I hate it when people throw that verse at me because that’s NOT what the verse means!

Stop judging others! That’s not a blanket excuse to stop calling sin sin. If it were you wouldn’t find verses 11, 13, 15 in Matthew. Right after saying Stop judging others – Jesus starts judging! In verse eleven of Matthew seven Jesus talks about sinful people, in Matthew 7:13 he talks about people taking the easy way and ending up in hell (that’s pretty judgmental I would say), and in Matthew 7:15 He calls some teachers false prophets.

Jesus says, stop judging and then turns around and starts judging, so apparently Jesus is not talking about suspending all discernment.

Here’s the point: Jesus says some things are wrong. The Bible tells us some things are wrong. When the Bible says something is wrong, when Jesus says something is sin – who are we to say otherwise?

If God has already judged something – it’s our responsibility to simply agree with God.

It’s not judging to say adultery is sin – the Bible says it is. It’s not judging to say cheating is sin – the Bible says it is. It’s not a sin to say immorality is sin – the Bible tells us it is. To do anything other than agree is simply foolish.

Judging is taking God’s role instead of God’s perspective.

Agreeing with God’s judgments is not wrong – but creating our own judgments is!

When we start acting like God that is wrong. And anytime we start judging things that God doesn’t – that’s the kind of judging that Jesus is warning against here. That kind of critical, judgmental attitude has got to be cut out of our lives. It decaffeinates our effectiveness to express ourselves.

We’ve got to cut the criticism and give the gift.

Ah, Paul, relax. Criticism isn’t that bad. Being critical is just how I am. I consider myself very discerning. When I’m critical I’m being helpful. I’m right to be critical. If that’s the way you think – you’ve probably had too many cups of this...you’re flying high and way off course.

We need to cut the criticism and give the gift.

We need to cut the criticism because...

Criticism is FAR-SIGHTED and will cause you to stumble.

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, “Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye, when you can’t see past the long in your own eye?” Luke6:41-42

Far-sightedness: when you can see everything out there, but nothing right here. You can’t see up close. You see perfectly way out there, but you trip, stumble and fall because you can’t see what’s closest to you.

A critical spirit will make you take a dive.

Jesus talks here about the log and the speck. Imagine trying to get a speck of dust out of someone’s eye when you’ve got a beam protruding from your skull! Your beam is going to take out anything in its path! That bean will damage anything that it’s swung towards.
The word here for log is huge. It’s like the main support beam on a roof. But I was thinking one day, what’s the difference between the log and the speck? I mean, are our faults actually that much worse than other people?

Far-sightedness causes us to focus on the other person’s faults and sins. We see the speck in their eyes. But we don’t notice the log in our own! So what’s the difference.

The difference is all about perspective!

See this toothpick? Not very big, is it? If I hold it way out there it doesn’t block very much of my vision. As a matter of fact I can see everything. It’s not really in the way, it’s just a small piece of wood way out there.

Not watch this...once I move the toothpick up here close to my eye (and, yes, I’m being very careful here), once I move the toothpick up here...I can see anything! This little piece of wood is blocking everything!

It’s all about perspective.

You see, the faults that we possess, the sins we own – they block out everything. We can’t see naturally. We assume we’re seeing everything perfectly when in reality all we are seeing is the world blinded by our own faults and sin.

We think, we judge that other people have problems and we’re not seeing our own. Criticism, a judgmental spirit will blind you to the up close world where God deals with you.

We’ve got to cut the criticism because it causes us to be far-sighted and hinders us from seeing God working up close.

We’ve got to cut the criticism because

Criticism is CONTAGIOUS and it spreads fast.

Look at the passage again...

“Stop criticizing others, or it will all come back on you.” (Luke 6:37)

Criticism is contagious. Judgmentalism is infectious. You can to get people going, just go negative and critical. You want to get people talking, start criticizing. You’ve get lots of people on yours side.

There’s a great illustration of this in the Old Testament book of Numbers. In chapter 13 the Children of Israel are right on the edge of the Promised Land. God is about to give them the land He’s prepared for them. But before they head in, God tells Moses to send twelve men into the land to scout it out. So twelve key leaders are send across the Jordan river into Canaan. After forty days the twelve men return to give their report. They all agreed together that it was everything God has said and more. That’s when ten of the twelve went critical on God. There was a problem was...there were giants in the land. The challenge was bigger than they thought they could handle. Forget what God could do. Forget what God had already done. They went critical on God.

But Joshua and Caleb, two of the twelve spoke up, “Let’s go at once to take the land. We can certainly conquer it.” Of course they could – God was on their side!

The critical ten got all the rest of the people critical as well. Numbers 14:1 says, “Then all the people began weeping aloud...”
The critical spirit of ten men drove over a million Israelites to tears!

Criticism is contagious.

I’ve seen in it families. Just put a family in a car on a vacation and watch what one critical complainer will do to the whole bunch!
I’ve seen it in church. Things are going awesome. God is doing amazing things. Then, one person decides that it’s not that great and pretty soon everyone is worried and complaining as well.

You go critical and people around you will too!

Do you want to know if you’re critical? Look at the people around you. If they are, you probably are to. People are mirrors, man. If you’re critical – they will be to. Try this...turn to a neighbor and start frowning at them. I mean really frown. I know, it doesn’t work well because it’s set up – but if you see a stranger this afternoon at Stater Bros, try it. Frown at them and watch what happens.
Then try this. Pass by another stranger and give them a smile. Chances are they will smile back. Attitude is contagious and a critical attitude is really contagious!

We’ve got to cut the criticism and give the gift ...because criticism is far-sighted...criticism is contagious.

But even worse – criticism CORRUPTS.

Criticism destroys everything. A judgmental spirit corrupts character. A judgmental spirit corrupts relationships. A judgmental spirit corrupts everything!

Right in the middle of this passage on judging it appears that Jesus shifts gears:

“What good is it for one blind person to lead another? The first one will fall into a ditch and pull the other down also.” (Luke 6:39)

When I read that passage it seemed out of place, but as I looked at it again I began to understand Jesus’ point: criticism is blinding. And critically blind people are in for a fall. But when they fall, they seldom fall alone – they take others down with them.

Criticism corrupts – not only you, but others! It’s impossible to be critical alone!

Criticism causes you to be hypocritical.

There’s a word that get’s a lot of play these days – hypocrite. People say they don’t go to church because the church is filled with hypocrites. Yeah? So what? I’m glad hypocrites go to church – hopefully it will do them some good!

But honestly, let’s look at that word for a moment. What is a hypocrite? They word comes from a stage or theater term that meant to act under. It means to play a role, assume a character, to pretend.

All of us are hypocrites at times. We all play roles. We are pretend. But the full thrust of the word here is to assume a role that is not yours to assume.

Hypocrisy is assuming what you are not. Now listen...every time we push God to the side and start judging others we are being hypocrites. Critical people are the real hypocrites.

Remember what we said at the beginning of this talk? Judging in this passage refers to playing God. It’s assuming that we can pass judgment on people in ways God never intended. God is the judge: we are to simply follow His judgments.

When I push God off this throne of my life I become THE JUDGE. I judge what’s right and wrong for me and then I start judging what’s right and wrong for others. I don’t take God into account – It’s my view, my opinion – not His.

The problem with a hypocritical, critical, judgmental spirit is that it always comes back on me. It destroys me. It blinds me. And it effects others.

OK...OK...I get it. I’m tired of being critical, but how do I stop? Criticism has become such a HUGE part of who I am I’m not sure I can stop. It seems that criticism has infected every part of who I am. Get me out of this mess!
Well, since you asked, there is an answer and it’s found right here in Luke chapter six.

Look again at the beginning of the passage...STOP!

Stop judging others!

CUT THE CRITICISM!

It’s that simple. Just stop! Simple, but not easy. However, there is more to the cure and it’s found in the verse right before the ones we’ve been looking at. In my Bible you’d almost miss it because it’s hiding on the preceding page...

“You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.” (Luke 6:36)

There is the complete key to overcoming a critical spirit and espressoing yourself is a powerful and positive way: be compassionate. Show mercy.

Show mercy. Give the gift of compassion and mercy.

Cut the criticism. Give the gift.

Right before “Stop judging others” is that little command... “be compassionate”.

Want to be compassionate? What to give the gift of compassion to others?

By the way, compassion is always a gift. It’s something we give that no one can earn. F they could earn it, if they deserved it, it wouldn’t be compassion – it would be justice.

So, if you’re going to give the gift of compassion you’ve got to...

Recognize God’s compassion. “...just as your Father is compassionate.”

When we realize how merciful, how compassionate God is toward us – it’s hard to be critical of others.

When we genuinely experience and sense God’s forgiveness on our lives – in the midst of our faults and sins – it’s hard not to forgive others.

How did Jesus say it? “If you forgive thse who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you...” (Matthew 6:14)

Here’s the point: The judging talked about in this passage is all about our personal perspective. Creating your own judgments will only get you judged. Living by God’s judgments and mercy will set you free and bring forgiveness.

Once you have recognized God’s compassion, it will be a lot easier to grant compassion to others. Our compassion is based on God’s. Our forgiveness of others is based on God’s forgiveness of us. We don’t forgive others because they deserve it, but because God granted us forgiveness. We don’t show compassion on others because they deserve it, but because God granted us His compassion and mercy.

Criticism will keep you from expressing yourself and God’s love.

Espresso Yourself!

You want to live a caffeinated, espresso life?

Cut the criticism and give the gift of compassion.

Who do you need to offer compassion to this morning? Who needs your compassion? Let’s just start with the half-dozen or so closest to you. Who’s missing your compassion? Who have you been way too critical of lately?

When you start to get in critic mode – stop and start reviewing God’s compassion toward you. I mean really think about it. What’s God forgiven in your life? When has God shown grace and mercy when you know fully that you deserved a full blow of judgment?

Once you’ve re-experienced how God’s forgiveness really feels...transfer that to that one person who needs your compassion. Find a way to show that compassion. Make it an action, not just an attitude. It doesn’t matter how you feel, it only matters that you demonstrate compassion.

Who is it? Got it? Have you got that person’s picture in your head?

Good. Now...Espresso Yourself!.

Enjoy the taste of a good cup of God’s compassion in your own life!  Then pass on that compassion to others.

Notes: Though the messages and majority of illustrations are original to the author, the theme and outline matierial for this message series Espresso Yourself is adapted from a copyrighted series by Ed Young Jr. used by permission and license. His series can be obtained through creativepastors.com.

To download the audio version of this message click here.

Espresso Yourself - Part Two Click Here