So, what’s really bugging you?

I recently came across a website where people listed their biggest peeves, see if you can relate to a few of these…

1. People talk on their cell phones and drive.

2. People who talk on their cell phone at the movies.

3. People who talk at the movies.

4. Gas prices that go up and never down when there’s no good explanation.

5. When people think they own the world

6. CBS for canceling Walker Texas Ranger

7. No toilet paper or paper towels in public bathrooms.

8. People who pick their nose in public!

9. (People who pick other people’s noses in public!)

10. Rude and mean people; people who uses profanity.

11. All the stupid polls about the election.

12. Any Gap or perfume commercial.

13. People who continually crack bad jokes and then stare at you waiting for you to laugh

14. Doing dishes.

15. Loud music when I'm not playing it.

16. It really peeves me when people complain about their pet peeves

17. Everyone and everything. Including whoever is reading this now. (This guy's having a rough life!)

* My disclaimer: these are not necessarily my peeves!

All of us have things in life that aggravate us, annoy us, peeve us.

This morning we want to take this one step farther.

What really aggravates you? Who really aggravates you?

We’re not talking about anger here…but that frustration, that emotion that often worms it’s way into our thoughts and causes us to be short, harsh, impatient with others.

Normally it’s not the huge things that get us in life – it’s the little things.

This morning, as we conclude our Games People Play series, I want us to be very practical and deal with the game of Aggravation.

How do we keep from getting so aggravated at people and things?

How do we keep ourselves from letting the little annoyances of life ruin our days?

After spending some time working through those two questions I’ve come up with three reasons why we get so aggravated, but before we deal with those three reasons let’s look at the overall cause of most aggravation.

We tend to REACT instead of RESPOND. We strike out, lash out without first working through what’s really happening at the moment. And if we don’t react outwardly, we still internalize it and allow it to frustrate us.

We react quickly instead of responding wisely.

Proverbs 13:16 says, “Wise people think before they act; fools don’t and even brag about it!”

Have you ever just shot off at the mouth and then bragged about it? The Bible tells us that’s foolish.

Why? Because reacting comes from a self-centered perspective while responding comes from a God & others centered view.

So what causes our aggravation? What causes us to react instead of respond? Three reactions tend to lead to aggravation.

First, we tend to look at the negative situation instead of the Godly possibilities.

Second, we choose to attack the person rather than the problem.

Finally, we allow our spiritual defenses to weaken.

Instead of dealing with these from the cause approach this morning though, I want us to look at the solutions to aggravation. How to get ourselves to the place in our walk with God that we are not so easily aggravated!

Three Keys To Overcoming Aggravation

#1. Learn to view each situation as a chance for God to do something great!

Things as well as people aggravate us. Some of the most frustrating things in life are things. And when bad things happen – even “little" bad things - it’s far too easy to focus on the bad.

Look at Romans chapter eight with me this morning: (Romans 8:26-28)

“And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress.

For we don’t even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn, with many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And he gave them right standing with himself, and he promised them his glory.”

This passage tells us four key things concerning negative situations

(1) God is always there to help. “the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress”

Do you feel distressed this morning? The Holy Spirit is here to help.

Psalm 46:1 tells us, “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.”

Never forget that God cares enough to help you if you will let him.

But also notice the primary ways He helps you.

(2) God directs your prayers and tunes your heart.

There are times when we don’t know what to pray or even how to pray for the frustration we are facing, but God knows our heart. And as we pray He helps us get our hearts in tune with His will.

But God does more than work on our heart –

(3) God also works on the situation. 

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” vs.28

We’ve talked about this verse before, but what I want you to see this morning is that God is a work in everything. God will use even the bad, even the frustrating, aggravating things in life for our good.

That doesn’t mean that everything we face in life is good, it only means He uses everything to work for our good and for His purpose in our life.

Now let’s take a moment to think about that purpose. What is God’s purpose for our life? Read the next verse again…

“For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn, with many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And he gave them right standing with himself, and he promised them his glory.” vs.29-20

(4) God ‘s purpose in every situation is for us to become like Jesus.

How do we overcome aggravating situations in our life?

We view them as God view them, opportunities for us to become more like Jesus.

How would you describe Jesus? Patient, peaceful, self-controlled to name a few.

How do you suppose we ever learn patience if we are not put is situations where we could lose our patience?

How do you suppose we practice peacefulness if we are not introduced to stressful circumstances?

How do we practice self-control if we never have to control ourselves.

God uses aggravations to point out where we need work! Then we should start working!

Learn to view each situation as a chance for God to do something great. It’s not an aggravation it’s a possibility.

#2. When it’s not a situation and it’s a person, learn to attack the problem and care for the person.

Look with me at Colossians chapter three,

“Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are all called to live in peace. And always be thankful.” (Colossians 3:12-15)

The Apostle Paul is giving us some very practical stuff in these few verses. He tells us we are to be different – holy. We’re not to act like the rest of the people out there who do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. We are to cover ourselves with caring qualities: mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

When faced with a problem - care for the person, then deal with the problem

That’s not always easy when we view the person as the problem!

But notice the steps:

            (1) Practice forgiveness based on God’s forgiveness, not yours. vs.13

" Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others."

            (2) Show love based on the person’s value, not actions. vs.14

And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love.
(Love = agape, placing value into the person, then loving that value)

            (3) Refuse to get upset – let Christ rule your heart vs.15

And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts.

            (4) Find something to be thankful for vs.15

"And always be thankful.”

OK, that all sounds great doesn’t it.

We can really work at responding instead of reacting, view situations as God’s work in our lives, and attempt to care for people – but the truth of the matter is that we still get aggravated at times.

Key number three is the heart of the matter.

When do you get aggravated the most? When are you annoyed the easiest?

Let me answer that for you…when you are weary.

#3. Build up your spiritual resources.

Hebrews 12:3 warns us, “So do not get tired and stop trying”.

It’s easy to let down our spiritual guard when we get spiritually tired. When we stop spending time with God and stop being honest with Him – our spiritual strength begins to weaken and we starting acting in ways we know are not Godly.

So what’s the answer? Build up your spiritual resources.

“So don’t get tired of doing what is good. Don’t get discouraged and give up…” (Galatians 6:9)

“Be strong with the Lord’s mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor…” (Ephesians 6:10-11)

Building up our spiritual resources will help us get over the aggravations of people and circumstances.

Ephesians 6 lists six effective resources every believers needs to stay strong. I challenge you to read and study through them, but for this morning let me summarize several key important ways you can build up your spiritual resources.

(1) Use your Bible. Read it, study it. Share it with others. Pray over it. Ask God to give you wisdom to apply it to your life. But get into the Bible every day.

When you practice listening to God’s written word, the Bible, it will be a lot easier to listen to him during the events of each day.

You will also begin to see that God prepares you in advance for the situations and people you are about to encounter. You’ll be going through your day and suddenly realize that the verse you read that morning just fits with what you are facing.

Use your Bible!

(2) Practice faith. In other words, do what you know God wants you to do.

When you start getting frustrated at with someone, start asking God what He wants you to do and how He wants you to respond to them. Then do it.

Yeah, I know, it won’t be easy. It’s not supposed to be.

Remember that God is more concerned about your character than He is about your comfort. It’s not supposed to be easy.

Showing Godly care and consideration for irritating people and situations may not be easy, but it is the very best way to show God to others!’

(3) Finally, give it to God.

1 Peter 5:7 says it this way, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”.

Give it to God.

I’ve learned that I normally don’t get irritated about things that are not mine.

I don’t get irritated when somebody takes someone else’s parking space at school.

I usually don’t get upset when the sales clerk is short with another customer.

I get upset at the things that are personal to me. I get irritated, aggravated at the things that I own.

But when I give those things over to God – they become His problems, not mine!

Aggravation is another one of those red flags telling me that there is something I’m not fully turning over to God.

Give it to God.

Funny, isn’t it? Aggravation is not a game. It’s more of a lifestyle. A lifestyle that God does not want us to live.

Ask God to give you the wisdom to see Him in even the most trying of situations.

Tell God that you will – willingly – focus on people not problems – their care, not your comfort.

Then begin to build up your spiritual resources against the onslaught of aggravations.

For information on the original PowerPoint presentation,
contact Paul Newell @  paul@familyfellowshipchurch.com
 

(c) Paul Newell 2003

FamilyFellowship Church

P.O. Box 465, Beaumont, CA 92223

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